And on this next episode of Too Hot to Handle……. Oh, I’m sorry. We aren’t actually in an episode of the Netflix program, which centers around ten attractive people stuck in paradise who are not allowed to engage in any type of sexual conduct, including kissing; In an attempt to make them value relationships without sex. Hmmm…isn’t this sounding a little familiar at the moment? Especially for us who are single or do not live with our significant other. Sure, we are not stuck in a deserted location with opulent housing and surrounded by attractive people (at least most of us aren’t), but we are stuck in our little metaphoric island until social distancing is no longer a law. If we date online, we are still tempted by all of the virtual options, and even though a lot of us are now abstinent due to this new rule set in place, it is not the end of the world, although it might feel that way for some of you.
As a woman, sexual pressure is rampant when we date. I spoke about a man that I dated who mentioned he needed to have sex to connect with someone. I also talked very little about the fact that I had my first kiss at the age of 24. This was with my first, live bf (all the other connections I had had previously were virtual) if you can even call him that. We only dated for a month, and I broke up with him. Why? Because all he did was pressure me to have sex and when we would make out but not go all the way he felt he was taking advantage of me and yet that thought did not come into mind when I would tell him that I was not ready and he still tried to push things forward.
You don’t need sex to feel connected with someone, and there shouldn’t be a deadline as to when this needs to occur. If this was a confusing message to understand previously, it should be a lesson to those of us who had trouble with it before.
I will admit that I lack patience. I like to talk to a guy for about a few weeks and meet in person because that is when I genuinely feel a connection and decide if the guy is worth seeing again or not. I tend to get bored when I talk to someone virtually all the time with no next step unless I feel the connection is more than just superficial. Practicing social distancing has taught me to be more patient and see if a relationship is developed naturally with no rush to move on to the next step.
The Positives of Abstinence when dating and social distancing:
- You communicate more
- Your judgment is not clouded
- There is less pressure to be physical
- Easier to spot the ones that want a commitment
- Abstaining will strengthen your romantic relationships
- You’ll know your worth
- You’ll exercise patience
How has coronavirus strengthened your romantic relationships? Has it been easier for you to “walk” away from the commitment-phobes now as opposed to before the pandemic?