I think we can all or at least mostly agree that dating sucks!! We all have had experiences that we would like to forget or that make us wonder what is happening with society and yet we carry on, because we should. I think sharing our dating experiences will help others feel better about the rut they are currently in or it will empower someone to share warning signs and how to keep ourselves from getting into dangerous situations.
I am an example of someone who did not and still does not have great success with men. As the title suggests I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 30 and I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 24. When I first started dating I felt like I was hiding this deep dark secret because I had no idea how men would react when I told them that I had never had sex before. Ultimately I decided to keep that to myself, although I was sometimes tempted to just publicize it on my online dating profile and get it out of the way, but in the end I came to the conclusion that that might not be the best idea. I figured I would tell someone who I thought would be worthwhile but that was not the case because I ended up telling this guy who was not worthwhile at all. When I first told him he made it seem like it was no big deal but then he kept pressuring me and telling me that “the only way I can connect with someone is if I have sex with them”. Bullshit….or does anyone agree with that statement? I ended up only dating him for about a month and then he told me that he felt he was wasting his time with me because he wasn’t having sex, another bullshit statement. Now that I am writing this I am realizing he talked a lot of shit. I learned from that one (I did end up meeting up with him a year later but that is for another post).
This was when I first started dating and as I mentioned before, I was a late bloomer. Looking back I can’t believe I lasted that long with him and I also know that it was because my self-esteem wasn’t as high as it is now. No one’s self-esteem will never be 100%, but knowing that you deserve someone who will take their time getting to know you and not make such stupid statements means that you shouldn’t settle for anything less than that because you are confident that you deserve the best.
Has anyone had similar experiences? Is anyone a virgin and finding it difficult to date? Or maybe it is the complete opposite and people have been accepting and you flaunt it?